five stages

one

don’t say truth whispers as comfort unfolds

everyone around gives a sigh

not

i

alone in this strange darkness untold

lingering on hopes that flicker in and out like suns about to die

.

two

a new way must be found

not bound am i by the

grief but instead burning red

engulfed in fire i

rage into the nothingness that catches and holds my breath

.

three

breath easy the smoke that remains

aiming to pull answers out of hats not

rabbits like rats running

gripping my brain

a pain lingering as

i try to remain

neutral and pass on terms and conditions that may apply

.

four

down pouring into my heart

every last twinkle of that future fades

passing in and out of time lost to

radical beliefs that not you or i could

ever

see eye to eye or care to

subscribe to love and not the

intoxicating feeling

of winning something when really you gained

nothing

.

five

accept its done

//

today we lost the chance to see real progress made in one of the most influential countries in the world

the sorrow of that moment where maybe she could have won

if only she had a cock.

//

I have suffered from gender identity for years. I have accepted my biology despite those feelings and look inward for reflectance and acceptance of who I am. She. They. He. Human. They are all the same to me. But on days like today, I can’t help but feel seen as lesser a human because of the body I was given.

I grieve what could have been.